I came across this article today, and I just couldn’t have written it any better.
I love what I do, I love where I work, and I love the people I work with. I’m very fortunate in that respect. But nothing will ever beat the moments I will miss with my daughter while I am at work. The potential misses of any “firsts” make it so difficult to think about going to work. And while I’m grateful that my in-laws will be watching her, and will take care of her like their own child, it doesn’t make leaving her any less painful.
I knew this day was coming, I just didn’t expect it to come so soon. It breaks my heart every day as my maternity gets closer to the end. I cherish every moment with her, no matter how sleepy. I already struggle being away from her for more than an hour.
I hate that this is the world I live in. That the United States, for all its so-called progressiveness, can barely give a parent time to be with their child in their first year of life. Instead, I have to be grateful that I even get a decent maternity benefit, and be okay with leaving my child after a few months to go back to work. This whole notion of mommy DESPAIR versus guilt is so on point, it makes me well up with tears any time I think of it.
Anyway, that is my rant for now. Time to feed Faith.