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A Letter to the Creep(er)

Very recently, I was "cyber-followed", on all of the social networks I belonged to. This would normally not be a bad thing if this was a friend or a new acquaintance. But the person that "followed/added" me, was not a friend, barely an acquaintance. It was a person who worked at my company and who was either let go or quit (the rumors have not been confirmed), and based on hearsay, it could have been due to his inappropriate behavior (towards women) at work. Before I knew of his Creep(er) status, I was very lenient on who I accepted as a friend on Facebook, and since I knew this person and saw him (not really talked to him) on a semi-regular basis, I didn't see the harm in adding him. That is, until he started making inappropriate remarks on certain photos and asking if I had anymore. After one final comment, I sent him a direct message, basically letting him know that his comment was inappropriate and embarrassing, and I promptly "un-friended" and blocked him. By then, he was already out of the company, so I had no reason to keep in contact with him.

This all happened possibly 3 or more years ago. Fast forward to the day before my birthday, he decides to add me on Twitter, and again, is promptly blocked. I show the other girls who know him from work that he's found me on Twitter. I honestly didn't think he'd have the nerve to do such a thing, but I guess Creepers somehow think that it's okay. Then comes the day of my birthday, and he's added me on another social network- which again I promptly block. By then, news of his contacting me are slowly spreading to the other girls that Creep(er) has found me on the internet. By lunchtime, I get over it, think I'm safe because I've blocked him, and return to work as normal. The moment I sit at my desk, the first words I see in my inbox are "My Sincerest Apologies". I know it's from him, and before I even start to read it, I immediately tell the other girls and we read it together because in all honesty, I was afraid to read it by myself.

For him to reach out to me on my WORK email, makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. All the other girls at work shudder, "eewwwww", and "OMG" and we all start feeling just generally creeped out. Sympathies come my way because it's my birthday and it sucks to have to deal with this kind of thing. (He even had the guts to wish me a happy birthday- wow). The letter itself didn't make total sense either. He implied that my boyfriend was actually jealous of him. WHY? It almost made me laugh... if the whole idea of this didn't flat out creep me out. No one understood why he would make that implication, but then again, no one fully understands what exactly is going on in his head.

Did he really think the email would make things better?

Had we been friends in the first place, I would have understood his reaching out to me so aggressively to either apologize for a wrong doing or to put a friendship back together. But this was not the case at all.

Now, this may not officially fall under "stalking" since I found out by google-ing my name, you can find me fairly easily, but he is making me and plenty of other women at work, very uncomfortable.

And rather than respond to his email, I wanted to address him in a public space, in which I know he still has access.

Creep(er),

Your apology is not accepted. To accept your apology would mean I am accepting you and your actions, which I do not want at all. You know exactly what you are doing when you do them. And in the tiny case that you don't, everything you are doing is scaring away every girl you know. No single person had to spread a rumor about you, because it is a collective group of women whom you have made feel uncomfortable or grossed out in one way or another. I'm not exactly sure what you get out of "friend-ing" someone or "following" someone you barely know online, but you're right about one thing: you are a plague, and that is why you have been blocked by pretty much every girl you've reached out to. As for your jealousy comment, you actually are not a secure person, and telling yourself and others that you are, is simply lying to yourself. In fact, the "jealousy card" may actually be the card best played by you. And for that, I pity you.  I hope to never hear from you again.

Sincerely,
You know who I am.

If Creep(er) decides to respond to me because of this post, then he has gone back on his word to leave me alone, which by extension would be an admission of guilt and proves all of what I have just said to be fact.

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Letter to My 18 Year Old Self